Seeing Through a Stone, Remembering Promises of Other Sorts

[once_human]

[ One of the first 'gifts' that Dammon brought back with him on a return from Avernus, unexpected but immediately and often put to use: a seeing stone. Once they had things like times of day figured out, it was easy to time conversations. But it was such a small but perfect addition, something very much needed to continue Gortash's work here: a reminder that he was going home, and more importantly, that he was not just going back to Baldur's Gate to mourn over a grave.

Once the weight of that started to feel lighter, the conversation came easier. Even as he was coming to know Kael for who he was and was becoming, leaving the door open to speak frankly of what they were before when blanks need to be filled, he was also beginning to learn himself again. Parts of him that were not so readily allowed to flourish anymore once goals changed.

It makes simple conversation easier, more commonplace, that in itself a promise. And the more they did that the more he looked forward to it that break in the day's labors when he would be waiting for that familiar face to appear and to just make smalltalk if that was all they felt like doing.

He's taking off a pair of simple leather work gloves when it begins. No gauntlets. No finery. That's become a rather common occurrence. It's also been gradual, but his hair is definitely getting longer -- he has to tie it back now to keep it out of the way when he works. ]

You first this time. How go the rebuilding efforts?

Comments

[once_human]

I am saying that it is if you feel it is not your place to step into that arena.

[ A very diplomatic answer, but the smile he returns is equally appreciative. ]

Besides, haven't we both spent enough time in charge? Let someone else take the lead on that front.

[ It's far less for himself. He is going along with this idea because it is what will get targets off his back: Enver Gortash is not running anything anymore, much less a city-state. Maybe if he says it enough he won't feel fundamentally uncomfortable with it. ]

[unspooling]

[ When he thinks about being in charge, his mind leaps to the most recent version of it rather than what came before it. And then unbidden a whisper of what must be a memory. The recollection of how he had been struggling with the will of Bhaal vs the idea of being in charge with Enver.

But the more he thinks about it, the more it slips from him being able to properly remember it. This happens at times and he's not yet sure if it's for the best or not. ]

In ways that matter on a grand scale? Yes.

[once_human]

Exactly.

[ That subject seemingly well-addressed, he reaches for something easy to talk about. Maybe a little less of what he is doing here. Beyond the technical parts, he's less certain he's doing the rest correctly.

But, he realizes with a sigh, there are positives. In spite of where he is. ]

...I can admit there is some benefit to not having as much on my plate anymore.

[ Which would be laughable to an onlooker because he is never not working and he's sleeping less. ]

[unspooling]

Tell me of it.

[ This is the largest part of why he looks forward to this scheduled talking time. Updates from Enver in ways that feel like they're progress in so many ways, but also just the opportunity to listen to the man talk.

He sees Dammon every so often, but aside from that, his contact with the current residences of the House of Hope is limited to the conversations he and Enver have. ]

[once_human]

[ He's a little surprised at the invitation, but he blushes a lock of hair out of his face that's gotten free from its binding. ]

...I'm making progress with adjustments to Karlach's engine. I'm having to relearn a good deal to start with, but it's moving forward at least. ...It's also been something of a release to not have three or four other major projects demanding my attention alongside that.

[unspooling]

[ His gaze follows the hand and then the lock of hair, but eventually his focus returns. He cannot remember ever having seen that before, but he likes something about it.

He doesn't bother to ask how Karlach is because Enver won't have the answer he's really asking. ]

Having less to do does feel unnatural.

[ The 'not the end of the world, though' quip dies in his throat, any sparkle of dark humour doused before it escapes his throat. It doesn't feel like atonement, thinking of jokes like that. ]

[once_human]

[ By now he has mentioned that he didn't see much of the inside of a workshop once he was encouraged to go into politics. Their alliance and the Absolute Plot created very singular excuses to do several things that otherwise would have been considered 'beneath' the work he was called to do. ]

I did not miss this place, and I will not once I have left it again. But I did miss this.

[unspooling]

Have you thought about what you want when you return here?

[once_human]

[ Besides you? Enver is as ever the master of not saying the more suggestive things that come to mind and moving past, but there's enough in his expression to show he was somewhere he shouldn't be for a moment. ]

I've been very focused on my work, if I'm being honest. But without this project in front of me, I can see there's much I need to relearn or pursue further. [ And he's several years behind, after all. ]

[unspooling]

[ If he notices a moment of a vaguely inappropriate expression, he doesn't tug on that thread. ]

That... is a broad and vague statement.

Any thoughts on what the finer strokes might be or are you keeping your options open for now?

[ Not said: that sounds like a politician's answer. ]

[once_human]

[ He has been a politician for so long that is not going to leave him quickly. ]

I think a healthy amount of the latter might be necessary. I don't see myself hiring out to a smith or anything but perhaps working on commission if things are comfortable enough. Keep my studies going but leaving room for...well, more.

[unspooling]

Comfortable enough?

[once_human]

[ blink ] I suppose I'll be paying for a place to live. Expenses and such. Comfortable would mean being well off enough that my day isn't filled with what it costs to just survive.

[ Oh he does not miss that part at all. ]

[unspooling]

[ It's a moment that may remind the both of them just how much was taken from Kael with his forced lobotomy. He doesn't have any frame of reference for what comfortable is. Perhaps he never has. ]

Food. Water. Wine.

We shared a lot of it when I made camp with my companions.

[once_human]

Sounds ideal in its own way.

[ When ignoring there was always something dire to be worked toward. And considering how quickly he had to make his exit, he doubts any gold apportioned under his name hasn't been seized, and the status of any accounts under any other names (always be prepared for emergencies) may not exist anymore either. Better to just assume he is starting from nothing. ]

Too significant a portion of my life has been shaped by debts. I have little desire to go back to that.

[unspooling]

[ He started with nothing coming off the Nautiloid save for the clothes on his own back. Whatever gold he had in those early days was looted, either in coin or by way of items to trade.

It had been easier then to justify the dead not needing gold anymore. Now he feels as though his conscience has leapt way ahead of allowing him to loot the dead. At least not from bodies that haven't proven themselves his enemy. ]

I believe I understand the concept.

Did I seem to require comfort before?

[once_human]

I imagine you were accommodated rather well.

[ Kael you have always been built like a brick house and that has to be maintained; he doesn't care what magic is at work. ]

...If I had to guess, a touch austere when it came to some luxuries, given how you reacted when I had a gift commissioned for you. But then you also hated how small my bed was.

[unspooling]

I took issue with your bed?

[ It's strange enough for him to laugh, slightly confused. Given the fact he's been sleeping on a bedroll more often than not, it seems bizarre he'd have found an actual bed unsuitable. ]

How small was it?

[once_human]

[ That gets a bit of a smile from him, too. ] Large enough for one man of more average height to sleep in and not much else. Before you, if I was doing anything else it was in someone else's space, not mine.

[unspooling]

[ Logistics. Now he understands. ]

Ah. Yes I do take up quite an expansive level of real estate in any given position.

[once_human]

You didn't spend the night often. But my living space has always been very...economical.

[ Easier to tuck away and fortify. Less to lose. ]

Given where I was going in life you found that rather unusual, I suppose.

[unspooling]

[ Another strange thought as he contemplates the likely reason he didn't stay often. It feels so strange now that he's quiet for a moment. ]

I find a lot of things unusual now. Different things to then.

[once_human]

Tell me.

[ Not just to find obvious blanks he can try to help fill in, memories lost, but they are both navigating being separated from divine forces. Their bonds with those took very different forms, so too are the empty spaces those left behind. ]