Unlike Enver, he knows what he's promised and how, in this moment, he's committed himself to failure. Committed himself to rebel against his god's plan, the one that came after the alliance with Bane's Chosen. The one where he ends the alliance with bloodshed and slaughters himself upon his father's altar. The realisation that he would slay himself before Enver is both shocking and freeing in the same breath.

The smaller man advances on him, warm lips pressing to his own and he's reminded of the existence of kissing. Of sharing a soft moment without words, and how kisses aren't always a battle. That he feels more able to comprehend this more readily, he doesn't inspect too closely. As though it will be a marker of how far he has drifted from Bhaal. The bubbling desire to confess to Enver is barely kept under control, and ultimately the only reason he says nothing of it is because he is almost certain soon enough they would be swarmed by bhaalists and both ended.

He stiffens in response to his line of thinking rather than the kiss, unable to just allow himself the experience despite his curiosity, the warmth he feels for the man, and eventually it pushes him to lift his own hands. He breaks the kiss, but not without cupping Enver's face, holding him just far enough away to be able to focus on him.

"This is... dangerous. I-- I cannot confess the truth of my heart simply to put you in harm's way."